Growing Into Herself: Chapter 4
A few days went by and with each day Caitlin thought less and less of her changes. Her mother made a comment to her about her height and Caitlin just played it off, neither acknowledging nor denying her sudden spurt. She got surprisingly few looks or comments regarding her body, which both relieved and depressed her. Maureen said nothing regarding her change, but Caitlin did notice Maureen wearing heels more often than normal, which made her laugh. Caitlin considered tormenting her friend by wearing heels as well, but she didn’t want to call attention to her growth. Additionally, most of the guys they hung out with were pretty tall so, again, no one really noticed. Alexis, strangely, took absolutely no notice of Caitlin’s upward growth, yet could not stop commenting on Caitlin’s rather subtle outward growth. Caitlin was thankful that Alexis saved her questions until the two were alone, and Alexis finally accepted the explanation “they just grew” to which she responded “cool!”
Despite the glaring evidence in her wardrobe that she had, indeed, grown a bit, she found herself not thinking much of it. Perhaps she simply hadn’t noticed that she’d been growing steadily over the course of a few months and it took a blow to the head and some time off her feet to realize it. That didn’t necessarily explain the two days’ worth of calories she consumed, but she had all but suppressed that memory to the point that it hadn’t even happened.
Caitlin had one week of classes left, finals week, and then she would be free for the summer. As Tuesday rolled around, she found herself back in art class. With all that had happened she hadn’t realized how close she was to actually finishing her landscape project. With another hour left of art class and another session on Thursday, she would need something to do. There was always Advanced Art mural project, but she shuddered at the idea of spending too much time with the other art students. She studied her canvas and, to her surprise, actually found the landscape to be a bit empty. Seemingly without thinking, she had set to work adding a bit of purple to the sky. She wasn’t sure why, but for some reason her brush just went to the purple and began coloring in some of the bright blue of the sky. Purple was soon followed by a bit of red, some brown, and eventually a touch of black. By the time she was finished, she was happy with the progress of her project, though with such a vibrant sky, she would need to possibly balance out the rolling green hills. Looking around, she noticed that the only people left in the studio were Mr. Knightley, who appeared to be doing his best to pretend he wasn’t shocked to still see her there, and Nicole Ryder throwing handfuls of paint at a canvas in the corner of the room, screaming obscenities the entire time. It was a miracle she had been able to drown her out, since normally Nicole could single-handedly ruin art class for her.
She had somewhat spaced out during her last painting session and felt oddly energized. She checked her phone and realized that she had missed eleven calls from Alexis and received a rather desperate text from Maureen. “Shit!” she thought to herself, remembering that she was planning to meet Maureen, Alexis, and Alexis' new boyfriend Ben at Starbucks at 4:00 and it was now 4:17. She wasn’t as much concerned with tardiness, as much as she knew that Maureen would desperately need the company as Alexis her new boyfriend Ben, the star fullback of the football team, probably didn’t make for riveting conversation. She quickly put away her art supplies and set her canvas in the corner of the room to dry, narrowly missing a splatter of green pain being hurled at high velocity. She turned to protest, but Nicole was clearly possessed by something other-worldly and cussing her out would do no good. She made a beeline for the door, silently praying that Mr. Knightley wouldn’t stop her. Mr. Knightley, grateful that Caitlin had shown some signs of following his advice and fearing that any input on his part would not be well received, allowed her to pass by his desk without comment. As she exited, he smiled to himself and then turned his attention to Nicole, who had thrown her canvas to the floor and was now jumping on it. He sighed, and did his best to return to his reading.
Caitlin was on her way out of the studio and was heading for the back parking lot (her mother had lent Caitlin her car, as the middle school was already let out for the summer). She was almost at the door when an unfamiliar voice called her name.
“Hey! Caitlin right?” A boy shouted. Caitlin turned to look at him and barely stopped herself from gasping at his pierced appearance before she recognized him as the weird barista kid from the coffee shop a few weeks ago.
Caitlin tried her best to be courteous. “I didn’t realize you went to this school.” She said, still heading for the door.
“I don’t.” He replied. “My girlfriend Nicole goes here.”
Caitlin’s eyes went wide and she stopped in her tracks and turned to him in disbelief. “Are you Nicole Ryder’s boyfriend?”
“Tristan.” He said, not sure how he should respond given her reaction. “Once a week I attend the advanced art class here. I think Mr. Knightley is the best art teacher in the city.”
“Oh.” Caitlin replied, looking around. She was less interested in the conversation and more nervous about being seen talking to Tristan, given his appearance. “Well, I’m actually in a hurry, so…”
“That’s cool.” He said. “I just wanted to let you know that I really like you pieces. I think your stuff is really good.”
Caitlin was taken aback. “Really?”
“Definitely.” He said smiling. “I dig the abstract stuff, but there’s something to be said for simplicity.”
Caitlin was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable about this conversation, mainly because she was weary of anyone who would willingly date Nicole Ryder. Tristan seemed like a nice enough guy. Tall and skinny, but with defined, almost sharp facial features and a smoky voice that likely came from a regular cigarette habit. She could definitely see him with Nicole, though she couldn’t really picture Nicole with anyone. Not anyone human at least.
A silence hung in the air briefly, and Caitlin used the opportunity to head out the door. She still felt a bit weird talking to him, and also didn’t even want to invite the possibility of letting Nicole see her with him. Tristan seemed surprised by Caitlin’s sudden departure.
“See ya’ around Caitlin!” Tristan called out, but Caitlin was wrapped up in sending Maureen a text message. It was now 4:30 and she was concerned that Maureen, left long enough with Alexis and Ben, would either lose her mind or choke herself with a plastic stirring straw.
She arrived at Starbucks to see Maureen doing her best to stay interested in the banter, clutching what appeared to be a double-shot mocha as if it were sustaining her very existence. Maureen’s eyes pleaded to Caitlin as she entered, and she smiled back knowingly. Caitlin ordered a frappucino and made small talk with Alexis, quickly becoming bored with the outing. Alexis was perched on Ben’s lap and Ben appeared to be distracted by the expanse of cleavage on display through Alexis’ low cut baby tee and his speech was limited to three-word sentences. While built like he could withstand a head on collision with a charging bull, he had boyish features and, like Alex, was too dense to be mean. Caitlin had confided to Maureen that Ben was the perfect other half to Alexis since their IQ’s added together made an average person. Alexis seemed even happier than normal, Maureen was going over the top to be courteous, and Caitlin grew increasingly bored. Ben appeared to catch wind of Caitlin’s discomfort and made an attempt to reach her.
“Hey Kathrine, what’s up?”
“Excuse me?” Caitlin replied, irked. “What’s my name?”
“Karen?” Ben was visibly unnerved.
“Wrong.” Caitlin’s frustration grew.
“Krist…”
“Wrong!”
Ben looked to Alexis for help, but Alexis, in the midst of a giggle fit, was not going to be much help. Ben looked back and forth between Alexis’ mirth and Caitlin’s icy glare and wasn’t sure what to make of the situation.
“I’m sorry, I just…”
“…don’t know my name?” Caitlin cut him off. “It’s not like we’ve just met.”
“Actually,” Ben replied, “I don’t think I ever really met y…”
“You’ve been eating with us at lunch for the whole year!” Caitlin fumed. She suddenly pointed to Maureen. “What’s her name?”
“Maureen Jacobs.” Ben responded without skipping a beat.
“You know her full name but don’t know mine! What the fuck?” Caitlin was boiling at this point. Alexis had busted into a full belly laugh and Maureen was trying unsuccessfully to shush her. She abandoned her tactic and turned to Caitlin.
“Caitlin, Chill. I’m sure he…”
Caitlin cut her off. “What? Just didn’t really notice that I was sitting there?" She was practically shouting "I mean, Jesus! I…” Caitlin’s expression quickly changed. She realized what was happening and what she was freaking out about and went flush.
“It’s no big deal Ben.” She spit out. “Really, I don’t mind.” And with that, she walked quickly out of the shop, without even taking her drink. Alexis had finally suppressed her giggles when she noticed Caitlin’s absence and scanned the shop for her. “Did Caitlin go to the bathroom?” Maureen sighed, and took another sip of her mocha. Ben, who finally worked his way back to his senses, blinked a few times before a light suddenly clicked on in his head. Smiling, he turned to Maureen. “Caitlin! Oh!” He said, putting his palm to his head, before cocking his head slightly to the side.
“Didn’t she used to be shorter?”
Caitlin, meanwhile, was rushing toward her car, flustered and embarrassed that her inferiority complex had so drastically made itself apparent in public. Her cheeks felt hot and she almost felt as if she were breaking out in a sweat. She wiped at her forehead with her sleeve, when suddenly she felt a new sensation, a powerful pang of hunger which seemed to come out of nowhere. All thoughts about her embarrassing episode only minutes earlier were pushed out of her mind as she stopped immediately and looked about trying to find somewhere to eat. The only thing nearby was the Chinese buffet, the coffee shop, and a McDonalds a few blocks down the road. The thought of fast food made her cringe, but the idea of bursting into a Chinese buffet and gorging herself didn’t seem attractive either. She started to head toward her car when another hunger pang stopped her and she whirled around to the buffet, noticing that it was fairly empty. Quickly glancing side to side, she made a run across the street and silently prayed to herself that she wouldn't seen anyone she knew.
She got in the door and looked around frantically. To her relief, not only was the restaurant devoid of anyone she remotely recognized, it was fairly empty and contained a lot of booths out of view of the window. A petite, non-Chinese girl greeted her and before she could finish Caitlin replied “Just one! Buffet!” The girl seemed to take forever leading her to a booth and while the waitress had left to retrieve silverware, Caitlin had already headed for the buffet, grabbing two egg rolls in one hand and eating them both. In the back of her head she reminded herself that she was in public and probably shouldn’t act too primal, but as she thought this she was scooping food onto her plate until it was stacked high with chicken, two more egg rolls, a heaping pile of rice, broccoli, beef, and chow mein. She actually reached her seat at the same time as her waitress, nearly knocking her over and also nearly spilling her food. She tore her napkin apart and dug into her food ravenously, hardly noticing the shocked look given to her by the waitress. The food tasted incredible and getting food in her felt amazing.
After what had seemed like hours, Caitlin was finally done, and she laid back, her senses slowly returning to her. She was full, and reached down to touch her distended belly and was shocked by the tautness of it. It visibly bulged out from her shirt and skirt, displaying most of her mid-section and belly button. She tried to think back to how much she had eaten and had some difficulty. She looked around, seeming to realize for the first time that she was in a Chinese buffet and had spent a good amount of time ravenously stuffing her face. The more she thought about it, the more confused she became, feeling like this whole thing shouldn’t be happening. Suddenly snapping out of it, her waitress returned with the check. The girl looked unsure of what to say, and was startled when Caitlin suddenly spoke up.
“How long have I been here?”
The waitress looked at her watch and replied, almost equally perplexed. “About a half hour.”
Caitlin was stunned, then noticed that her hand was still rubbing her exposed belly. She looked up at the waitress who had been gaping at her, and averted her eyes at Caitlin’s sudden gaze. Caitlin suddenly spoke up without thinking. “How much did I eat?”
The waitress shook her head in disbelief. “It couldn’t have been less than six plates. I dunno. Seven? Eight plates?” She said. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it. You ate pretty much all of our eggrolls.” The waitress seemed almost as shocked as Caitlin. “Do you do this often? You must have a hell of a metabolism.”
Caitlin’s mouth fell open. This was like a nightmare. “I…I need to go. Now.” She tossed a ten and a five at the waitress and waddled to the door, her fullness hindering her full range of movement. She noticed that as she continued to make her way out the door she was beginning to feel tired. Her car was a block away and she nearly ran out into traffic in her haste. The car honked, shaking her out of her sudden drowsiness. She hurried across the street and had reached her car when she suddenly heard her name.
“Caitlin! What’re you still doing here?” Alexis’ unmistakable voice asked.
Caitlin instinctively reached to her midsection to pull down her shirt which was continually riding up over her rounded (but slightly less round than she remembered) belly. However, the car was between her and the group, and after a brief moment of just simply staring back at them, wide-eyed and gaping, Caitlin opened her door, started the car and sped off leaving the three staring bewildered after her. Her heart was racing and too many thoughts were going through her head for her to really make sense of any of them. Her panic was the only thing keeping her awake at this point, as she could feel her whole body growing warm and heavy with fatigue. She put a hand to her belly again, noting that while it was still much larger than she had ever seen it, it was less than half the size it was when she first noticed it in the restaurant. The restaurant! She must have eaten twice the amount she ate last week! But that’s impossible! she thought to herself. That would be, like, seven or eight pounds of food! She gasped and swerved as she almost wandered off the road only a few blocks from her own house, and parked crookedly in her driveway as she dragged herself up the sidewalk and into her house. She was so tired by this point that the words of her parents seemed to be a blur to her as she wandered up to her room and collapsed onto the bed.
