Introducing Princess Casandra, daughter of King Gale, arranged to marry the son of one of the great noble houses and pissed off as heck about it.
Nearly from the day she was born Casandra had been unhappy with the roll her family has relegated her to. Now as she enters into her teen years she seeks the power to change that roll to one she feels is more fitting.
In order to gain that power Casandra has spent the last several years of her life being trained in the forge. A fighting style that involves using the same spiritual energies mages call upon for their spells to strengthen ones body. Mentored by the former adventurer Oshgun who while at one time only took the job for the easy coin and expectation of the princess giving up in the first month has remained her loyal mentor and friend for the past decade.
Along with regular lessons from Oshgun Casandra has also had her body heavily altered by her personal alchemist. A young man from the Grove a mages and alchemist guild he has been employed by Casandra for almost as long as he's been a member of the Grove and is constantly working on new potions to help the princess obtain the body she desires.
Despite the help of her two allies though and the help of her gold Casandra finds her quest troubled. As she might gain this power while keeping her actions a secret from her father.
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keep it up
I enjoyed this one quite a lot! The self-domination medallion is an idea I like (I wish I had one), and I've never seen used before. I like a heroine with a good spirit. And, given that this is Brawna.org, stories about superhumanly powerful women are great, and it's especially tantalizing to me to think of her power and beauty as still growing (perhaps with the help of her alchemist friend).
The only critique I have for you at the moment is that this could use some additional grammar checking. There are many instances where you want "role" for "roll", "lair" for "layer", and some others I encountered in the reading but don't remember now.
In any case, I hope you'll continue this story, and I look forward to the next installment.
I didn't expect a review
I didn't expect a review quite so soon. Thanks for the feed back and it's nice to know people are enjoying the story. As for the additional proof reading. Yeah that's probably not going to happen. Of the writing process the least enjoyable aspect of it is proof reading especially whenever the story is quite so long.
I tend to wait a few days and give what I've written a once over to look for mistakes and refresh my memory as to what has happened. To go further then that though really wouldn't be worth while. I'll try to keep an eye out for the mistakes mentioned but I'm not really willing to take the fun out of something I do for fun.
Of course in the beginning I refused to even proof read.
A little help
Does anyone see where the add child page button is? I've been wanting to add the next chapter since Gracilis was nice enough to give a review so quickly but I can't find the darn button to do so.
Help
1. Log in.
2. Click on "Create Content" (top left)
3. Click on "Book Page"
Profit!
This aside, your story is great, can't wait for the next part!
That's not quite what I'm
That's not quite what I'm looking for. I'm wanting to add a new chapter to this story not create an entirely new section. Which should be doable based on the how to add stories faq.
" If the story is to have multiple chapters, then the first page created should simply be an introduction to the story.
Chapters can be added using the "add child page" option, which appears on every book page."
Where is this add child page feature though?
I got it
Create an introductory page for your story. A "cover", so to say.
Choose the story you have already written while logged in.
Scroll down to the end of the page and open "Book outline".
Choose "Book" and select your cover.
Set weight to "1" and save.
This makes your story part 1.
Create a new Book page: "Create content -> Book page".
Add your material and use "Book outline" to affiliate the material to the cover but set weight to "2".
And so on...
Profit!
Thanks for the help figuring
Thanks for the help figuring that out. I managed to get up chapter two at last and decided to go ahead and put up chapter three. I hope everyone enjoys the reading.
I like it
Happiest, your stories generally have too little sexual content for my tastes, but I enjoy reading many of them even so. I think that Cassandra is probably my favorite girl of yours so far, with the combination of willpower and (what I see as) recklessness she exhibits. The lengths she's willing to go to to achieve power (modifying her personality--an especially nice touch, I thought--and body) make her a very cool chick. She's also agreeably violent, and soul sucking is pretty hip.
I would definitely like to see more of this girl, so I hope you keep writing the story.
That said, some of the usage errors you make (when/whenever, idea/ideal, etc.) puzzle me, but your ability to maintain a narrative, which is well above average for this sort of thing, more than makes up for them in most cases. I'm not a huge fan of what I guess is called the "cuddle" genre, with its love and monogamy, but there's probably not much to be done about that. Although I would love to see something like a naked Cassandra, covered in gore, tearing through some group of people for whatever reason, or none at all.
Well I want sex in my stories
Well I want sex in my stories to be more then just a physical act between my characters. Rather I like for it to be an expression of their feelings for one another and not just fucking. This has held even more true for my recent works as I've thrown out the ideal that there should be a sex seen in every chapter. If the storyline leads to a sexual encounter that's fine but I'm not going to try to force one in.
It's nice to know that even those who prefer stories more focused on screwing and antisocial behavior can still enjoy Casandra's little story though.
As for the ideal of Casandra tearing people apart while naked. That's probably not going to be happening. Casandra is after benevolent at her core.