“Oh, crap! That zombie thing killed my druid again!” Julie pouted, looking to Mark for sympathy.

“Yeah, uh, let me nerf that thing for you. This is a hard game when you’re just starting out,” he replied, bringing up a dialog box and adjusting some sliders downward. Julie saw that some of the sliders read “Speed”, “Strength”, “Intelligence” and “Resilience”, but Mark was just moving them all lower with one larger slider at the bottom.

“Nerf?” she asked, “Like the toy company?”

“Yeah, to ‘nerf’ or ‘nerf bat’ something in a video game is to make it weaker. ‘Buff’ means to make it stronger,” he replied.

“So you’re doing that to the zombie things?”

“Yeah. I’m also going to buff up druids a little, so it’s easier for you to learn.”

“Ooooh, I’m gonna be buff!” she exclaimed, flexing her arms. Known more for her curvy figure than her athletic abilities, the resulting biceps swell was less than impressive. “Well, in the game, anyway,” she giggled.

As they played, Mark explained that buffing a character meant to exaggerate its strengths and diminish its weaknesses, whereas nerfing one meant the opposite. By buffing the druid Julie’s character became stronger relative to everything else in the game, but by nerfing the zombie things she became much stronger relative to them. Also, if a player class was nerfed it took far longer for players in that class to advance, because gains in skill and strength were now tied to a lower starting point. Alternatively, buffed players would have a much easier time making substantial gains, because their starting point had been moved forward.

When Julie asked whether that was cheating, Mark said, “Not really. Cheating means to break the rules, but we’re changing the rules. Just a little.”

Later that evening, Julie recounted the experience to her roommate Amanda, as they browsed through MySpace profiles.

“I could totally go for that, in real life,” Amanda said. “I mean, I’m pretty but not that pretty, and I’m smart but not that smart. It would be nice if I could just “buff” my qualities a little. Get an edge.”

“You can never have too much of an edge,” Julie agreed, just as she accidentally clicked on the MySpace profile of Amanda’s ex-boyfriend Paul.

“And there’s somebody I’d like to nerf. A lot!” she giggled, “take him down a couple inches. Him and that jock girlfriend of his.”

“Claire? Oh, come on. She’s nice and she’s just a freshman. It’s not her fault.”

“I guess,” Amanda agreed, “but you can’t expect me to like her.”

Julie smiled. “It would be fun, though, wouldn’t it? I wish I could nerf and buff people through their internet profiles.”

“Oh, absolutely,” Amanda agreed, wistfully.

Julie fell asleep a little later, as Amanda polished her own MySpace profile.

Interlude

Claire Abernathy was oblivious to the musings of Julie and Amanda. Unlike them, she enjoyed the rules of her game and knew what she needed to do to thrive. While their university wasn’t a top-tier athletic destination (especially for her sport, women’s lacrosse) Claire had distinguished herself in high school as a skill player and she’d gotten a partial scholarship for her hard work and ability.

Clare had been riding the bench all semester, though, because skill wasn’t a complete substitute for size. Despite having added some muscle over the summer, she still came in at just 5’3”, 117 pounds. Claire was getting knocked around by bigger girls, and so tonight she was in the gym, pumping iron to add mass. Not many women could bench their bodyweight for reps, but Claire could, just barely. And as she struggled with the third rep at 115 pounds, she kept her mind focused on her goal: keep building skill, and muscle, too, so she could stand on her own in collegiate lacrosse. Her new boyfriend Paul was nice to have around, but on the list of her priorities he was three or four points down the list.